Gre7g Luterman ([info]gre7g) wrote,
@ 2009-12-03 18:25:00
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Entry tags:brick and mortar, fiction, tauren, wow

Gorrum
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Brick and Mortar
A World of Warcraft Story by Gre7g Luterman

Episode 13: Gorrum

Fall was in the air.

The leaves don't change here, but the winds shift. I was reclining in the sand with my back propped up on a small pile so I could look out across the surf.

I know it sounds stupid, but some of the best things in life are really dumb. I found that there were few things I enjoyed more than really squishing yourself into the cool sand and letting it get up under your tail.

Dumb, I know. But I could lay on the sand and watch the surf for hours.

Kaja curled up closer. I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze. I breathed in the scent from her hair and grinned stupidly.

There was no denying the power she had over me. Just one sniff and everything seemed like it was going to be all right; that nothing bad could ever hurt us. I know it's a lie, but it's a lie that I grab with both hands, and I gladly ask for seconds.

Even when she infuriates me, as she often does, Kaja makes me deliriously happy.

I put my thumb and primary finger on one of her horns and gave it a wiggle. I could see her roll her eyes. She reached up and grabbed my right horn tight, and pulled my chin down to my chest, lifting some of her weight off of me.

She's so damn naughty.

I grabbed her bare butt-cheek and gave it a good squeeze. She giggled.

"I've got a patrol tomorrow. Just to the Mizjah ruins and back. Should be home by morning," I told her.

She sat up and worried at her lower lip a bit. "Crap. I'm smelting steel tomorrow. It's going to be a crazy day. Did you see how much ore the Goblins delivered?" She sighed deeply. "I'm exhausted just thinking about it."

I put my hand to her cheek and she smiled. "Every day's a busy day when you're Grom'gol's only gunsmith, right?"

She tilted her head and I closed my eyes. The kiss we shared was deep and passionate.

"Ew... kissing!" yelled a little voice over the sound of the waves. The little tan and brown Tauren boy ducked beneath a wave only to pop up behind it. "Rawr!" he yelled, making claw-hands in the air.

Part of me hoped that he would never outgrow the "monster stage". It was adorable, even if it was growing increasingly hard to come up with fresh and exciting bedtime stories each night.

"Don't you swim out too far!" I shouted. "The murlocs will get you! I've seen them do it!"

Gorrum spun around to look for signs of monsters. I wasn't crazy about naming the boy after Kaja's dad. I wanted to name the calf after Urlug or Molthor; but Kaja was right to point out that although those two friends meant a lot to me, they weren't really part of her life.

Kaja's dad, on the other hand, meant a lot to us both.

Slowly, a dead, clawed hand emerged from the surf on one side of the boy. Another dead hand emerged on his other side.

"A murloc!" I cried. Kaja put a hand over her face and shook her head.

Gorrum looked this way and that. He bleated in surprise as the hands grabbed him and slowly lifted him from the surf.

The calf struggled and his wet tail swung wildly as he tried to free himself from the Forsaken's grip.

"He's getting strong, isn't he?"

Johnny nodded at me.

"Throw me! Throw me! Throw me!" the child shrieked.

You'd never guess it by looking at him, but Johnny was a natural with kids. It probably helped that he didn't ever scold them.

He grabbed the calf by one arm and leg, and carried him near the shore. Then he swung him wide and Gorrum screamed with glee, "No! Owa! Halii!" The boy flew long and made a big splash among the waves.

"Again! Again!" I heard him sputter as he struggled to swim back to shore.

"We're both going to be busy tomorrow. Would you mind keeping an eye on the calf?"

Johnny nodded and smiled.

"But no ghost stories."

"Aw... But Johnny tells them the best!" the boy bleated.

"Absolutely not." I stood and scooped the wriggling boy up with one arm, gave him a bear hug, and handed him to his mother. She squeezed him close to her heart with her powerful arms.

They walked hand-in-hand back to out hut on the edge of the beach. Her copper anklet glinted in the sun. Even after a year together, her tail still hypnotized me.

I slapped Johnny on the back and put my arm around his shoulders. "Can you stick around for dinner?"

He nodded and I smiled.

Fin

Well, that's the long and short of Brick and Johnny's story. It took quite a while to tell it, but I hope you found it worth the time. I sure enjoyed telling it.

Take a moment to leave a message. Did you like it? Would you rather I had done it differently? If I write another, what would you like to read?

I'm not real sure what I'm gonna' do next, but I may post a non-WoW story. It's a pretty good tale, but since it's not WoW fanfic, I won't be posting links on wow_ladies or wow_fanart. If you'd like to follow it, you might want to friend me now...



(21 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]norcumi
2009-12-04 12:47 am UTC (link)
::sits back with a contented sigh:: Ah, now that's some good stuff there. Wonderful job.

I will admit, I would love to read more about Johnny - what exactly, I'm not sure - perhaps in the context of Brick's kid(s?), but it's totally understandable if you're looking at trying something different. I've lost track of the tab (so apologies for being a little off topic), but the potential snippet you posted was interesting, but didn't grab me the way Brick and Johnny did. I wouldn't mind reading and following it, but the warlock didn't grab me. The druid did, and you wrote the way a druid sees the world in a fascinating way, but not sure where that goes.

In the constructive criticism department, the last week or two felt... rushed. I mean, there was no documentation of what all happened with the trolls and what Brick encountered when he managed to do what no one else in Orgrimmar had, but at the same time, I can see how the narrative voice might limit that. It just feels clunky, and I still can't figure out useful advice/commentary on that. So 2 cents there and a nice dose of salt to go along with it. ::grins sheepishly and shrugs::

In the meantime, thank you for one hell of a wonderful ride! Looking forward to seeing more of your work!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 01:56 am UTC (link)
Thanks for all the helpful comments!

I thought about telling more on his way back to Kaja, but I really wanted to make the fight with Molthor be the story's climax. I had lots more that I could have said (and would love to have said), but I was afraid that it would only muddy down the impact of the fight. I was worried that people would say "where's the story's climax?" if it was too far back. In fact, I would have liked to have cut more, but I had to have the bits I left in.

As for that other story, I'm still really divided. I don't know what I'll do with it, if anything.

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[info]fawnuh
2009-12-04 02:18 am UTC (link)
Sometimes it helps to just put a story away for a bit and let it ferment. : ) I'd love to see whatever you choose to post next, but maybe Steven and the druid just need to cook a bit longer, until you get a glimpse of where they want to go.

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[info]flamingcat
2009-12-04 10:21 am UTC (link)
I'm interested in hearing more about Steven and the druid as well, so if you're divided because you're not sure if people want to read it or not.... >_>

This was a fun story. I don't ever read fanfic, and you pretty much sucked me right in. I would have liked more detail as well, but on the other hand, the bite-sized daily posts were nice as well - I've been frustrated by some webcomics that are incredible, but only get updated once a year or so, so... yeah.

Of course, nothing's saying you can't post little one-shot stories in the future about Johnny or Molthor (who I also want to hear more about). Authors publish short stories on a regular basis about interesting characters that they couldn't easily fit into the main story. :)

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[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Ooh, that's a good point. I could totally write a short or two about Kaja growing up. That would be fun. :)

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[info]shadowdragon
2009-12-04 02:44 am UTC (link)
I enjoyed it, too! Thanks for sharing with us. :) I'm afraid I'm going to be lacking on the critique part, as I'm not able to think that hard right now.

I'll look forward to reading more stuff from you!

(Reply to this)


[info]sarayana
2009-12-04 02:46 am UTC (link)
I'm going to second the suggestion about Johnny. I'd love to hear his story, perhaps not this whole tale from his perspective, but... his life maybe? Or, if we're keeping it in the vein of WoW, Gorrum's tale later on could be interesting, having grown up in STV with the trolls and all.

I also agree that there were a lot of things that went a bit unanswered in the story, though I don't think the story suffered for it. I'd rather say that it could have probably been enriched by having those aspects added.

Other than that, I really don't have anything to critique... I'm a reader, not a writer, so it's hard for me to critique when I enjoy a story. And what an awesome story, really really great stuff. I envy you how well you write, I really do. Thank you for sharing it, I'll be looking for more stuff from you. xD

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[info]shadumbra
2009-12-04 04:26 am UTC (link)
I haven't read your story at all before today. :) I guess I spoiled myself by reading the last chapter. Would you mind posting links to the rest of the story's parts?

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[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 04:43 am UTC (link)
Sorry about that. The index broke. It's fixed now: http://gre7g.kyoht.com/story.php

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]shadumbra
2009-12-04 01:37 pm UTC (link)
Oh, thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ladyhelen
2009-12-04 09:31 am UTC (link)
Dude. :) Thank you so much for this story, it's been an amazing journey and I've loved walking it with Brick and Johnny.

Please keep writing, I'll read anything you write after this. :)

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[info]kimberley0101
2009-12-04 01:55 pm UTC (link)
It was certainly a joy to be reading these every morning...actually, it has been my morning ritual for some time. Breakfast, than story haha. It was a great story and am hoping you'll be posting some more stories soon :)

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[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 03:03 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, and it's been fun having all of you along for the ride these last four months...

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hawthornegem
2009-12-04 03:10 pm UTC (link)
ASjkdhkjasd;lkhA:LKFS, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . I WILL CHEW YOUR EAR OFF ON HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS STORY.

I'd love to read any of your other stories. Granted, I've got a soft spot for Tauren, so any more Tauren related stories are going to be higher priority for me to read than anything else, >_> ... but then, I just LOVE the little details you've given their...their...crap, word. Society. I love the little background details you added, not just to the Tauren, but the other races as well.
And that goes for non-WoW stuff too. If you do this kind of work with "pre-made" characters... I'd be REAL curious to see what spin you give your own worlds. That's what I'd be interested in reading, definitely.

Edited at 2009-12-04 03:10 pm UTC

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[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 03:13 pm UTC (link)
Hey, thanks. :) I'm glad you liked.

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[info]amri
2009-12-04 04:17 pm UTC (link)
I enjoyed this very much. I definitely would like to hear more of your tales.

I do wish Johnny had more a part in the stories. I realize that it was a story mostly about Brick... I just like Johnny. =)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 04:22 pm UTC (link)
My central characters tend to be very introspective. It lets me go on about all the things I want to mention.

It's hard to do that when you're kind'a out of it, like Johnny is. It would be challenging to prop someone like Johnny up as the center of a story. Could be a fun result, if I could think of a way to pull it off.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]paradox3i
2009-12-04 05:42 pm UTC (link)
I can't believe it's been four months since you posted the first episode. I guess time flies when you're having fun. :)

I really enjoyed this, and I'm kinda sad to see it end. It was a great story, and I have to say, I'm going to miss Brick and Johnny. Thank you for sharing it with us. I'd definitely be interested in reading anything else you choose to write, whether it be a WoW story or not, because I think your writing style rocks. :)

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[info]gre7g
2009-12-04 05:43 pm UTC (link)
D'aww, thanks!

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[info]ghostmoon
2009-12-08 05:59 pm UTC (link)
Ever late, as always...

I guess you realize by now how much I enjoyed this story. I did want to say that I agreed with the earlier comment that the end felt a bit rushed. But I also see your point of climax vs ending. Plus, I believe that first person story telling often feels a little rushed to me. I think it's just a genre specific issue. That aside, I still liked the pacing here.

I feel like you took the world as it was presented and really made it yours. So many fanfics feel 'tacked on' to their world. But this one felt like we had been given a chance to see some of the smaller personal stories without throwing away the larger world.

Of course, there could have been more Zasha... but I may be biased... ;)

All in all,a very tasty story. Well written and well told.

And I would like to highly encourage you to continue with the story you gave us a sample of. I, personally, like the darker feel to it. And after a 'happy ending' story like Bricks, something a bit more intense might be fun.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gre7g
2009-12-09 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Yay for more Zasha!

Thanks for the kind words. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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